Ain’t no kidding: is humour appropriate in an intimate circumstances?
Sense of humour brings positive feelings and bright moments into intimate life and sex dating of course. But sometimes it’s better not to use it.
Is sex compatible with jokes or is it a serious stuff? Today we speak about situations when it’s better to laugh and about situations when it’s better to keep silence.
As a rule laughter is something good than bad. And we laugh when we have a good mood and show it to others. Laughter is a defensive reaction that helps it to deal with overwhelming emotions but only them. Quite often we laugh when we are disappointed, scared or feel strong emotions not connected with positive events. In general you are not likely to laugh when you are depressed so don’t react negatively if your partner laughs during sex. Moreover with a help of humour you can avoid some awkward situations in bed.
For example such cases, when you want to burst out of crying because of their awkwardness, can be changed by simple jokes or exchange of giggles. Imagine that you both try hard to put on a condom or trying a new complicated pose from Kamasutra or angry neighbours start beating the walls or what is more awkward your vagina makes a special sound when your partner’s penis goes out of it.
If you happened to be in such a situation even once you remember how uneasy you both feel and how the mood changes to worse. So you can feel shame or just turn it into a joke. Maybe you think that laughter in such a situation can destroy the last excitement but you shouldn’t be afraid of it. Eve if excitement is down it can be turned back because there are no problems between partners after an awkward nuisance. And the shame is a killer of pleasure.
When it’s worth laughing
Sex and laughter are both positive things made to give good and pleasant emotions so no need to put in different boxes.
If you want to laugh during sex don’t make a sad face to keep laughter inside. But one should realize that laughter can be a very dangerous weapon. Especially in bed when partners are naked physically and emotionally and highly vulnerable, you both should be delicate in words and jokes.
The main rule is: jokes must not be insultive. Don’t pay attention on some disadvantages or special features of your partner in a humorous manner and don’t laugh at his ideas, words or fantasies. Even if your remark is funny it won’t be good for sexual and friendly relations. Also it can create some complexes or make him less self-confident.
If you date a man for a long time you should know which subjects should not be objects for jokes. But still it’s necessary to estimate every one separately: some men don’t react any jokes at all and some are more vulnerable and can get hurt even because of a little giggle towards them.
What to do when you’re laughed at
It’s easier to think what to do when you laugh at your partner but what should you do when jokes are addressed to you? You can be sure what do you mean when you joke at him. But not sure what he thinks when he laughs.
Laughter can have really many meanings as we already said above so no need to understand it as mockery, insult or a sigh of lack of seriousness. Imagine that you put on new erotic lingerie, shared with him your secret fantasies or offered to try a new sex toy and he started laughing at you. Of course you can start crying or run away and never come back. But is behaviour worth it?
There are three variants to solve this situation. First you can ignore the joke and behave like nothing happened but it won’t solve the problem. A good conversation is much better when you can learn the reason of the laughter and ask your partner if he understands that such words and reactions are painful for you. Try not to get hurt beforehand and don’t try to hurt your partner back, you just need to learn the reason of this reaction first.
Third variant of reaction supposes that you are strong woman able to strike back. You can also joke at him or say that his joke was good. It won’t create any conflict but can give him green light and maybe you’ll hear more jokes from him in future. And if you don’t like them don’t keep silence and let him know about it.